Week Fifty - Women

What qualities do you like most in women?

Week Forty-nine - Intuition

Intuition - is it real?

Do you follow it?

Why or why not?

What have been your results?

Week Forty-eight - Your greatest success

This week focus on all the ways you have been successful in your life. Don't be shy. Let us know how great you are!

Week Forty-Seven - The next generation

Whether you have children or not you have learned many things in your life. What are the principles or ideals that you would like to pass on to the next generation?

Week Forty-six - Self care

In certain families, it is taught that taking care of yourself is 'selfish' or 'self-centered'. 

This week look at all the ways you take care of yourself - or don't.

Also, look at the ways you believe it would be a good idea to take care of yourself like a healthy diet and/or exercise but you don't. What is in your way?

Week Forty-five - Money - Part 2

If money wasn't an issue, describe what your life would look like. 

What kind of car would you have? 
Clothes? 
Home? 
Travel? 
Career?

Week Forty-four - Money - Part 1

Most people I know aren't happy with their financial situation. They want more. What stops them? What stops you? 

This week think about how money was handled in your house growing up and see if you can find ways that your life is the same and/or different.

For example, in my life growing up there was a lot of fear of not having enough. It created jealousy on the part of my parents. It created anger on the part of my mother. It was always a big and uncomfortable issue. Since I have grown up I have seen that I have always managed to live on 'the edge' with very few exceptions. I always say, "I've lived on the right side of the edge" because I always pay my bills on time whereas my father was mostly late.

Think about the influences in your life from childhood that may be effecting your financial situation now.

Week Forthy-three - Your family

This week focus on your parents. 

• Describe your mother's personality. Then talk about how you are like her and how you are not.
•  Describe your father's personality. How are you like him? How are you different.
• If you have siblings, do the same.

Week Forty-two - Whom do you trust?

Many of us have trouble truly trusting people. We have been disappointed or hurt and each time that happens, it can have lasting effects if not really dealt with. 

This week talk about :
Who do you trust the most and why?

Who do you trust the least and why?

Week Forty-one - Your reward

Last week you focused on some possibly difficult experiences. I believe you should reward yourself with a loving experience after difficult ones.
 
Think about the phrase "random acts of kindness". You know how good you feel when you do something for someone and can think about their happiness with what you did. 

To churn up some really good feelings about yourself, what are five things you could do for someone this week just to be kind?

• After you do them, come share here about them. 
• What was it like? 
• How do you feel?

Week Forty - Feeling bad

This week focus on times when someone made you feel bad about yourself. 

What did they do and how did you react?

Week Thirty-nine - Being accepted

This week focus on times when people made you feel welcomed or accepted.

What did they do and how did it make you feel?

Week Thirty-eight - Being you - Part 2

Just as there are things about yourself that are difficult, there are things about yourself that you love. I love my love of a kind of spiritual magic that I often seek and often find. One of the wonderful things my mother did was to teach me about being grateful and that how I treat my fellow man is what makes me a good person. Those things can create a kind of magic and that love has led me to study many ways and understand the oneness of humanity.

What parts of yourself do you find joyful?

Week Thirty-seven - Being you - Part 1

I've never met a woman who does not find some part of being them difficult. For example, I have a very fussy and sensitive body. So there are many things that I need for my comfort. When it comes to sleep, I need sheets that feel a certain way, a pillow and mattress that is just the thing for me.

There's more but I think it's clear that when one has a sensitive body, there are repercussions. Some people see me as humorous. Some see me as annoying. And those are the ones I know about.

Well, I've been sensitive to people's opinions because I had such damaged self-esteem. After many experiences and working on myself, I have learned that I am who I am and I am worthy of whatever I need. I've learned also that I am quite fortunate because I cannot really ignore my physical needs for long and that is keeping me healthy as I age. I am sure there is more but this topic is for you.

What are the most difficult parts about being you? You could choose one aspect yourself or many to write about.

Week Thirty-Six - Mirror, mirror

Look at yourself in the mirror and describe what you see. Notice if you are critical or non-judgmental.
You might try each day this week try focusing on a different feature - your face, your nose, your body, your hair, your boobs, your skin - and write about the experience.

Week Thirty-five - Making mistakes

How do you react when you realize you've made a mistake? 

Do you beat yourself up? 

Do you adjust? 

Do you learn from the mistake? 

Each day this week look at the things you have done that you consider mistakes and see what you've done with that experience. Include what the mistake was; why you consider it a mistake; what the results are and did you over react.

Week Thirty-four - Who inspires you?

Certain people inspire us. I am inspired by those people who overcome difficult things in their lives and live their dreams. I am inspired, for example, by Oprah who overcame a very challenging childhood and is certainly living her dreams and helping and inspiring millions. I am also inspired by some of the members of this community who have honestly looked at themselves and the ways they have adjusted or not adjusted to life and change and thereby create lives of great fulfillment.


Who inspires you the most, and why? Each time you journal this week, choose another. They can be alive or dead - even fictional.

Week Thirty-three - Going backwards

In some ways, it would be lovely to have known what you know now when you were a teen. Since you didn't, try the next best thing. This week write as if you were writing letters that you could send back in time to yourself as a teenager.

What would you tell yourself? Try writing those letters as an older woman advising a younger one.

Week Thirty-two - Crying

One of the things I've noticed in my many years of working with women and just being alive is that many, many people apologize for crying. I find that almost ludicrous. Crying is a natural function that is meant to allow us emotional release - whether it be crying for happiness, frustration or sadness.

• What is your relationship with crying? 
• Do you allow yourself to cry? 
• How do you feel when you cry in front of others? 
• Do you apologize for crying? 
• When is the last time you cried? 
• Have you ever really cried for a long time? 
• How did that feel? 
• Write about crying.

Week Thirty-one - Epitaph

If you were to die today what would you like people to say about you? If someone had asked me that question 20 years ago or 50 years ago, I know my answer would be different because I really couldn't imagine me dying. But now I am 77.
Here is my answer today: I would want people to say I was a visionary who never let go of the idea that she could help create peace on this planet. I'd want them to say I was a good mom even though I didn't have a very good mom. I'd want them to say I was cute and wise and loving and funny. I know they would say I was fussy and picky about almost everything and I hope they'd know it was because I had a sensitive body and wasn't just a pest. (Although I'm sure I am that too.)

Well, I could go on but I'd rather start reading your journals.

If you were to die today what would you like people to say about you?

Week Twenty-nine - Your dreams

I don't really know how to interpret dreams and I feel a little suspicious of someone telling me what they mean - although I know there are forms of therapy that focus on them. My feelings about them are mine.

I do have some very memorable ones. The one in recent years that seems most profound to me I dreamed the night before my son, his then 2 month old baby and the baby's mom moved out of our house where they had been living for the past 5 months. I was very upset because the parents were so immature. In the dream my husband was carrying the baby out in front of him while on a bicycle on a tightrope. I woke knowing that it was not our job to know what was right for that baby. He chose my son and his mom for parents. Not us. (Fast forward, that 'baby' is 20. His then immature dad decided that being a dad required him to grow up. He has.)

What is your interpretation of one of your recent dreams? Did it have any effect on the way you live your life?

Week Twenty-eight - Gratitude

Gratitude is something that is so obvious to us, we generally ignore it. Religions talk and write about it. Spiritual pursuits talk and write about it. 

How do you approach it? Is it important to you? 

This week try an experiment. Each day choose at least one thing - a person, a situation, an experience - something that you are grateful for and see how it makes you feel to focus on it. Then write about your gratitude experience.

For example, today I am very grateful for having my daughter and granddaughter living with me. I lived alone for the 14 months after my husband died and I hated it. I am very grateful.

Week Twenty-seven - Fast forward

Think about the way your life looks now - where you live, your job or career, your relationships, your finances, your health - everything about your life.

What do you want it to look like in 5 years? Unless we have some idea of where we want to go in our lives, we usually just keep going along and life can pass us by.

One way to do this is that each day this week, choose an aspect of your life and write how you'd like it to look in 5 years. Use lots of detail so the picture is clear.

Week Twenty-Six - About forgiveness

We all know that we are supposed to forgive. We all interpret that differently. Let's explore the concept this week.

• Day 1: Start by writing what you think forgiveness means. Finish this sentence with as many sentences or paragraphs it take to explain it.
• Day 2: Who have you forgiven? What did they do to you and how did you go about forgiving them?
• Day 3: When you think of the people you wrote about yesterday, what are your thoughts and feelings?
• Day 5: Who has forgiven you? What for? Does it seem to you that they have really forgiven you? What does this feel like?

You might not want to journal every day so although there are only 5 days of topics, you can write more about forgiveness or you can just report on what's happening in your life, relationships and feelings.

Week Twenty-four - Full responsibility

What does "taking responsibility" mean to you? What does it look like in your life?

This is a quote from our Mission Statement:  

"We perform daily acts of spiritual courage by appropriate expression with full responsibility taken for those emotions ultimately leading to peace in our hearts, in our families, in our communities, in our countries and on this planet." 

What does that mean to you?
As you look at this topic this week, see if more and more occurs to you.

Week Twenty-two - What do you do with hurt feelings?

We all get our feelings hurt sometimes. We all do various things with that experience. Some of us excuse the other person but still have hurt feelings even though we don't let ourselves fully know that. We like the enlightened approach. Some of us are very vocal and let nothing pass. Most of us are somewhere along a continuum of behaviors.  

Each day this week you could work on some aspect of this experience.

• What is your strategy when someone hurts your feelings? Think of an example and write about it.

• How does it work for you? Are the results generally positive or negative? Write some examples.

• What do you feel like after the exchange occurs? Do this by using the things you wrote about in the previous two areas.

• What improvements would you like to make?

• Have you tried before to change? How has it worked out?

Week Twenty-one - Friends and Family

This week when you journal choose a different friend or person in your family and describe your relationship.

What aspects of this relationship do you like? What could be better?

Week Twenty - Significant Others

Write a bit about your relationship history. 

• How has your taste in partners changed as you have matured?

•  What recurring themes do you see over time? 

• What would you like to change?  
• Choose some aspect of significant other relationships to write about each day.

Week Nineteen - Decision Making

Some of us make decisions quickly and some of us take a long time. What type are you? This week look for some examples of decisions you've made quickly and some you've taken a long time to think about. 

How have they worked out in the long run? 

What is your best style to make decisions?

Week Seventeen - The Past

Think back to your childhood this week. 

• What events stand out? 
• How have they impacted your life today? 
• Choose a different one each day and see what conclusions you come to. Write about what you learned.

Week Sixteen - Self Acceptance

Living in a state of self-acceptance is a peaceful place to be. I know from much previous experience what it is like to not feel that much of myself was acceptable. I was pretty ok with my smile and I thought I must be fairly intelligent although I never seemed to make much of a success of anything and a pretty good mom.

Today, after many years of work on myself, I pretty much 'can do no wrong'. That does not mean I don't make mistakes or need to accept responsibility for them. It means that when I make them, I don't beat myself up or do other harm to me or anyone else. I accept. I learn. I move on.

Scary topic for many. Not so for others. 

• How do you come by self-acceptance? 
• What about yourself do you find unacceptable? 
• What are you motivated to change? 
• How might you do it?

Week Fifteen - Aspects of anger

Anger is a big topic. Some of us feel lots of anger. Some of us have a hard time acknowledging that we feel it all.

In my family, it seemed to me that only my mother was 'allowed' to get angry. I decided that anger was scary and I didn't want to be like my mother who seemed to have way too much of it.

• How do you handle anger?
• Describe what it was like in your home growing up when it came to anger.

What do you notice when you go back and read what your wrote?

Week Fourteen - How much can you accomplish in a day?

You have plans to go out with your friends but you don't get enough sleep the night before and know that the best thing would be to go to sleep early. What do you do?

That's an example of how you might actually go against what you know you need. 

Look for examples this week of how you might do that.

Week Thirteen - Personal Mission Statement

"I a teacher of personal growth who holds a vision of empowered people by what I am teaching and what we am about.

I believe in my heart that we can live in a world where a human beings can be strong on the outside and completely vulnerable to their emotions on the inside.

That means a world where all feelings are honored and all people take responsibility for their own feelings - men and women.

I perform daily acts of courage by appropriate expression of feelings with full responsibility taken for those emotions. This ultimately leads to peace in my heart, in my family. I intend to see it in my community, in my country and on this planet"

This week work on crafting your own personal mission statement. 

• What do you believe your mission in life is? 
• If you don't know that, what would you like it to be?

Week Twelve - What is the authentic you?

Who is the Real You? When you are born you are closest to your perfect, authentic self. Then you take on layers of programming and conditioning. So then your personality is made up of beliefs, decisions, unresolved and unexpressed emotions, real or imagined perceptions of the world, defense mechanisms and all the influences from around you.

This week write the ways you think this is true and the ways you see yourself being fully authentic - and the ways you are not. 

• Are you yourself at work? 
• In relationship to friends? 
• Family? 
• Partners?

Week Eleven - A year ago

How is your life different now from just a year ago? 
How is it better? 
How is it worse? 
What are you planning to do to change what doesn't work for you?

Week Ten - Staying in the Moment

Staying in the moment means not thinking about the past or the future. 

• Have you tried it? 
• Can you do it? 

Each day this week choose 5 minutes where you sit and 'stay in the moment'. When you are done, journal about what you experienced? Ask yourself if it was pleasant? hard or easy? if you had resistance? were you consistent? etc.

Week Nine - What if the disasters of your life were really part of your plan?

Take a look at the following quote. 

"Often, we get so hung up on trying to figure out what we did wrong, that we never stop to consider that what we may be viewing as a disaster is, in fact, exactly the right and most appropriate thing that could be happening at that particular moment. The job we lost, the marriage that just broke up, even the partner we may have lost to a dreadful disease or accident.. any one - and, in fact, all - of these events were part of our plan."  Steve Rother

What if the most difficult things in your life were actually part of your plan?

Write the most difficult thing that has happened in the last 5 years.

Now, even if it seems ridiculous to you, pretend it's true that you planned it and write a new version from that perspective. This assignment can be done several times or you can add to whatever you realize additionally as the week goes on.

Week Six - Can people change?

You know lots of people in your life. Some appear to never change. Some seem like they change all the time.

As coaches and from our own lives, we definitely know from profound personal experience that people can change. We have - usually quite dramatically.

This week look back over your life and recall those including yourself who have made a transformational change.  

• What do you observe? 
• Are there any common themes that you notice?

Week Five - Wishes and Dreams

If you could do, have or be anything you wanted to, what would it look like? 

• In your career? 
• In your relationships? 
• In all areas of your life? 

Focus on your dreams this week.

Week Four - What does it mean to "grow spiritually"?

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Following is a quote that has great meaning and important implications.

...the psyche is always trying to teach the conscious self things it needs to know to become healthier and happier and to grow spiritually.   The Holographic Universe by Michael Talbot

How do you think this is applicable in life? In your life? It's a big and deep topic. Think about the ways this has been true or is true in your life. Write some examples.

Week Three - Do you know what your needs are?

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Some examples of human needs besides the basics of food and shelter are:

• the need for intimacy, 
• the need to know and be known, 
• the need for meaning, 
• the need for autonomy 
• and many, many others.

This week, start by listing your needs.

• See if looking at your needs is hard or easy.
• Ask yourself if your needs are being fulfilled.
• What needs are not being fulfilled?
• Whether it seems possible or not, how can you get those needs fulfilled? Pretend you have the power. What would it look like?

Week Two - What about personal development attracts you?

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It is my observation that certain types of people with certain traits are drawn to personal development. This group is strictly for women with abuse in their background.

For me, because of how badly I felt about my life and myself, it was like a new door and a new life opened up when I discovered there were ways that I could have a different life than the lousy one I was having. And I was hooked.

• What about personal development attracts you?

• Why would I emphasize the trait of courage as a very basic requirement of a the Emotional Baggage Removal Program?

Week One - Monitor Your Mood

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This is the beginning of your YOU University Coaching journaling experience.

This is the week where you begin to take notice of the existing state of your mind, your body, your emotional state. This is where you really begin looking at you.

To do this journaling exercise each day this week pay attention to your mood, your emotional state, your level of happiness and your general disposition. Identify the mood or emotion that is present as you are journaling and capture it with as much description as possible. Identify the things, events and conversations that trigger your mood. You may choose to journal several times a day, and you may notice that your mood may change many times throughout the day. Do this either in a journal at home or as part of our community.

Take the time to write how your mood is expressed or displayed in your actions, your body language, and by the response by others. Here is an example: I am frustrated today. I am agitated and restless. I can't seem to sit still. I feel nervous and people bug me. I am hungry and can't seem to find the ice cream I like - I have to settle for butterscotch when what I really want is double chocolate fudge. I feel like a mouse running aimlessly on a mouse sized Ferris wheel. People are so impatient - they cut me off while I am driving and show no respect. My friend Maria thinks I need a vacation - maybe I do.

Your feelings are an indicator of your thoughts. If you are not happy with your mood, you can learn how to process your emotions properly which will lead to a more consistent sense of joy and happiness.

Really take the time to notice how your mood and feelings - the state of you - affects the way you spend your day, the things you do, your reactions to others, or to situations.